Running Fast or Keeping Still

Right now all I want to do is jump on the next plane home and help my friends in Raleigh after the devastation of yesterday’s tornado, but at the same time today was another amazing day in South Africa.  These opposing mixes of emotions have taken different tolls on me a couple times since being in South Africa.  The desire to just LIVE more and more in every moment here in Stellenbosch combined with the strong desire to keep still and think about the people in Raleigh had me feeling a bit crazy.  The past week was beautiful.  I was able to be productive, but things were calm.  I got to go to a coffee shop and work and do lots of “work” that doesn’t really qualify as work, but rather little things on my to do list like catching up with people, emailing people, and reflecting.  

http://www.wral.com/weather/story/9455587/

The story, for people that don’t know about the tornado in Raleigh, NC where I go to school.

Today Chelsea (who is in my LSCE group at Lynedoch) and I went to lunch at Mrs. April’s house.  She is the teacher for grade 5, which is the grade we have been working with every Monday.  When I got the phone call from Mrs. April this morning I was not expecting to be invited to lunch, and once we got there I wasn’t expecting to eat my body weight in food.  That is one thing Italy and South Africa have in common, when people have guests over they do NOT let them go hungry.  Of course there was great conversation over the meal with her family and a few other friends, which made the afternoon so great.  We got to talk with Mrs. April more about the Lynedoch community, the relationship between the school and the Sustainability Institute, the children, and her life and family.  It was so great to have some quality conversation and I hope she stays true to her word and invites us to visit her family in Touwsriver.  I believe that is where she said that they live.  When she was speaking about all the surrounding towns today I felt that I needed to educate myself more on the surrounding areas and towns.  I want to see as much of at least the Western Cape as I can before I go.

The perfect song always seems to come on when I am in one of these moods.  I guess its God’s way of reminding me I am doing all I can and I AM in the right place.  Maybe all I can do is pray.  My hands and feet are doing God’s work in this place too, so I must remember that while I am frustrated that I can’t be back in Raleigh right now I am being used here in South Africa.  

Today’s perfect song=David Lamotte, We Are Each Other’s Angels.

Well I hope I see you later
'Cause it's time for me to go
Someone just pulled over
Sure was good to know you
Go answer your calling
Go and fill somebody's cup
And if you see an angel falling
Won't you stop and help them up

'Cause we are each other's angels
And we meet when it is time
We keep each other going
And we show each other signs

Sometimes you will stumble
Sometimes you might fall down
Sometimes you will get lonely
With all these people around
You might shiver when the wind blows
And you might get blown away
You might even lose your colors
But don't you ever lose your faith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8H0wbdxbAM

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people… -Galatians 6:10a

Time

This notion of TIME or should it really be referred to as this GIFT of time?

Knowing that I have been in South Africa for three months now reminds me of the way in which time flies, but also the way in which time allows for growth in one self and in growth with relationships new and old. I’ve realized how close I am to some of my new friends here from both the US (the north especially), South Africa, and other countries.  The beauty of time is that it is a certain period in which you have the chance to LIVE and in that amount of time whether it be four years in college, five months in South Africa, a week in Zambia, a weekend hiking and hanging out with friends, a day spent in the city, a night out with friends, an hour having coffee and building relationships, or a minute to kiss someone you love, that time is YOURS.  You must do with you what YOU want and you must fit somewhere in all that time some space for YOURSELF.

I’ve learned that even the most extroverted person (I think I was guilty of being one of them at some point in life) needs time for reflection.  When you educate yourself on some you may have observed or heard, you are reflecting on that and being a teacher for yourself.  You are being your own teacher.  I hate thinking “oh I wasted my time on this or that.”  I rather like to think “ok, what can I take away from that even if I think my time should have been used for something else?”  This is also the reason I think I hate to be bored, when really I should try to enjoy it.  There can be productive reflection in boredom.

Because time is a gift that is of an unknown length in the grand scheme of life to us all, we have to make sure we just live and use our time wisely.  How do I want to spend my time?  Happily, healthy, helpful.  What do I want to spend my time doing?  With who do I want to spend my time?  And then, why?

**This was my long tangent of free-writing waiting outside for Jewelry Making class to start on Tuesday.  I didn’t put the pen down for 15 minutes and just wrote.  I wanted to write about time because I spend so much time thinking about what I am going to do with all the rest of my time and sometimes I just want to live without thinking so much… don’t we all? Shouldn’t we all just want to LIVE without thinking?!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,

A time to plant and time to uproot,

A time to kill and a time to heal,

A time to tear down and a time to build,

A time to weep and a time to laugh,

A time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

A time to embrace and a time to refrain,

A time to search and a time to give up,

A time to keep and a time to throw away,

A time to tear and a time to mend,

A time to be silent and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate,

A time for war and a time for peace.

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God.

-Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, 12-13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUMM7lHwJfI&NR=1
"Time" By: Billy Porter- Song from my senior solo.   

Seeing Things Cleary

Today at Lynedoch I felt THANKFUL. I felt thankful for the beautiful day while arriving to class, thankful for the love that us LSCE students now have for one another, and even thankful for the new car on the train that allowed me to see clearly through the windows on my ride home for once. Many times these windows are too covered in dirt to see through them and the car has been vandalized so that it isn’t as clean. I have never cared much, but today I just felt spoiled when I got to ride in the new train car.

…Those were thoughts written exactly a week ago when I returned home from Lynedoch. Today was another great day, but the weather was hotter and the kids were back so we were teaching them again today. It was great to see them again, but I forgot how much they wore me out. We filled our time well today though, and it is a good thing we were able to because next week is our last week with just our learners. That is hard to believe. It is hard to believe the week went by as fast as it did. I wish I could blog like this every week about my week too. It is nice to share, but it is even nicer to just get it all out. Last Monday when I got home from Lynedoch, Martin told me that Conrad, the DJ at one of the night time spots, passed away. He was so young and it really hit hard with some of the younger people in town and many of the friends I have made. I began to think of people home a lot in this moment and that came back repeatedly throughout the week. I am glad I could hold these people up a bit after this lose, but it didn’t make it easier to watch young people upset because their friend passed away suddenly and had so much life left to live.
I thought a lot about how I don’t have much time left here in South Africa, especially if my weeks continue to fly by as they have. Next weekend we get to begin another long break. I’ll be going home with Martin for the Easter holiday. I guess it is important to point out that Martin is the guy I am dating here in South Africa. I can no longer avoid the fact that I am indeed in a serious relationship, but I also can’t ignore that I will be leaving him come June. It stirs up feelings I haven’t had in quite some time and it is exciting, scary, and strange all at once, but mostly exciting right now. Now that I have even cleared that up, I have let quite a bit out. May I continue to have a productive a week just as I have had a productive day today!

Run my dear
From anything
That may not strengthen
your precious budding wings…

For we have come
here not to take prisoners
Or confine our wondrous spirits,
But to experience ever
and ever more deeply
Our divine courage,
freedom and light
-Hatiz
Poem I received in a letter from Patricia.

What I did with my saturday evening

This is the essay I just finished on my class field trip to the District Six and Holocaust Museums in Cape Town. Thought i'd share.

District Six Museum & Cape Town Holocaust Museum
The field trip to the District Six and Holocaust Museums in Cape Town was educational and allowed me to think about the issues of apartheid in a new context. I was able to reflect on the reality of apartheid South Africa when I saw the names of people who lived on the different roads throughout the neighborhood and heard stories of apartheid from our guide. Before the field trip I hadn’t really reflected on apartheid South Africa in comparison to Nazi Germany. When I began to compare the two throughout the field trip the realizations were eye opening but also scary.
Residents of District 6 phrased it like this: “living was cheap and life was precious.” Life was good for these people until one day when they were ripped away from their homes and moved to forty-two different sites outside of the city. The problems that would arise from this are still evident today. Blacks and coloreds were moved from their homes in what would become (and still be today) townships. They were the Cape flats, and what happened to their homes in District Six? They were all destroyed for “ethnic cleaning.” As if being ripped from your neighborhood wasn’t hard enough, the government convinced people that if they sold their homes they would benefit from it. It doesn’t appear to me that the neighborhood has the lively atmosphere it once did before the 1984 destruction, and I’m not sure that it ever could again. If each person in South Africa at the time of apartheid was seen as a human being and not as a black person or white person than people would have lived more peacefully, but because of the new laws made in the country this wasn’t possible. When people moved to these townships what began to happen very quickly was overpopulation, and poverty. This means that people weren’t living in proper shelter (there was asbestos in the roofing of the homes), nor were they able to take care of themselves properly (people contracting diseases such as TB and HIV/Aids). The once thriving social lives of the people suffered as well, because now they had to wake up at 5am to get to work and when they made it home they had to take care of their families before sleeping and starting the process over the next morning.
How do these stories relate to Nazi Germany? The answer lies in the discrimination and the inhumane conditions people were placed into. In Nazi Germany it was the Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, Jehovah’s witnesses, and black men. In Apartheid it was the blacks and coloreds. Science can’t make sense of these horrific truths of racism, because all they can prove is that we are all part of one race, and that is the entire human race. So then why was this done and who thought it was ok? That is the question I think has to be answered so that you can pick up the pieces and learn from it so that it doesn’t happen again. What stirred some emotion up for me was that it was just a couple years after the Holocaust that the first racist laws were put into place officially in South Africa. The people who were running things knew what was done in Germany, and just as the Nazi youth and society had been brainwashed, so had the people running the government in South Africa. I think that one has to stop asking why they thought the things they did at the time and move to how could they think those things. This is because you can look at the history of Nazi Germany and Apartheid South Africa and get the answers of why they may have thought this treatment was ok, but it is harder to find out how a human being wouldn’t realize it wasn’t ok. I think you would have to change the mind of every racist for an issue like this to be fully resolved. What you can do to start that process is educate.
Now that it is 2011, we have to take what’s happened in the past almost century and begin some peace transformation. If we educate people on what happened during the Holocaust or during apartheid they will be more likely to see that what happened was inhumane and that we should not let it happen again. I think you can perhaps teach these things in a reverse manner. By this I mean that in Nazi Germany there was a subject in school called racial science and today you could teach a class on equality for example. Much of what I have learned about apartheid since I have been here has taken an emotional toll of me, but I know it is important and needs to be taught to many people. People have to really grasp what happened even if it is hard to bring it back to the surface. One reason the Holocaust, although it happened some time ago, hasn’t been buried in history is because it can be used as an educational tool.

When talking in the conflict transformation or peace building context, we must first educate others like discussed, but then plan for organized discussion on what things look like in present day. The museums are both very good educational bases for the issues of racism and injustice. Perhaps members or staff of the District Six Museum can develop some space for open discussions about the issues of apartheid, because at least in my opinion there hasn’t been enough. The reason I feel like way is because it is evident to me that while apartheid may have ended in 1994, it is still present. People are still living inhumanely in townships and on farms outside of Stellenbosch. Through my experiences at Lynedoch Primary I know that there is still injustice. Until those injustices have been addressed I think there is room for discussion.

Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from the deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.
-1 Peter 3:10-12

Through Service Learning I have learned...

Through service learning I have learned the importance of a good relationship, the beauty of reflection, and the gift of dynamics within a group. These are just a few things, and even putting that into words is hard at times. I am humbled almost to tears every time I think about the relationships I have made with just the other LSCE students, then I see the LSCE students with the Lynedoch students every week and I know we are doing something great here. I can see what can be done when people work together and listen to one another. Listening is one important quality I have learned because when you listen to the people are you are creating relationships with, you hear their ideas and you can change the whole dynamic of a group just by listening. When I see myself doing work in the future those qualities of listening and also respecting are going to be important as a designer. Whether it is in urban planning, sustainable/urban design, or community development, there will be a community which will be a key factor in the decisions made. I am thankful for what this class has taught be so far, and anticipate the other things I realized I learned once I am back home in the US.

This was my journal entry from this week, but thought it might be nice to share because this service learning/community development class is a HUGE part of my time here and I am very fortunate to have been a part of it!
If you want to see what our group is working on outside of the classroom PLEASE take a minute and check out our blog and donate to the building of a playground for the students at Lynedoch Primary: http://lpsplayground.blogspot.com/