Celebrating

Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus and all his coming means.  I wish my advent season had been a more reflective time this year, but as I return home for a few days this Christmas season, I think back on all that’s been celebrated this year in my life.

A college graduation

The wedding of my only sister

                                                                                        A new home in DC

New opportunities that keep appearing in unimaginable ways...

In all of the celebrating, there was a promise of love, or sometimes for peace.  People I loved the most surrounded me in these moments of celebration.  We gave thanks to one another that we had yet again witnessed the incredible love of our family and friends.  I stand in awe of that love every time I come home now.  In the moments I searched for clarity and peace, especially when I first got to DC, there was a incredible ever present love I neglected.  That was the love Jesus showed me with every new opportunity, and through every new relationship.  You see in the midst of some of our hardest moments, its easy to neglect the love that should be closest to our hearts.  That same love Jesus shows us unconditionally can be easily forgotten.  With the arrival of Christmas, less people think about what it really meant that a faithful and loving savior was being celebrated for another year, and filled their agenda with Christmas parties and lists of who to buy gifts for. 

This Christmas, may we all be grateful for the love of family and friends whom we can celebrate life's gifts with.  May we also take hold of the one celebration that brings us together, the birth of Jesus.  May the love of Jesus comfort those in doubt and fear, assuring them that a loving God is ever present in their life. May that loving God bring peace to those whose year was one of unexplained loss, and may a new year bring reassurance and hope.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all,

H

Vulnerability

vul·ner·a·ble: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded

What does it really mean to be vulnerable?  I thought a bit differently about it after watching this video.  Brene Brown invites people to embrace vulnerability, to kick vulnerability in the ass. What she really encourages us to do in her TED Talk is "cultivate courage."  I'm not sure you will ever find yourself comfortable in a moment of vulnerability, but what may bring you that lasting peace is the result you get from your vulnerability.  So hey, why not?

Why not take a chance on a new job, or a new city, or a new relationship.  If someone attempts to admit they were never vulnerable, they are lying to you.  We take a risk when we start friendships, jobs, or travel to new places.  Those are just a few examples.  If in our vulnerability, we make a connection to someone else or our self we are being courageous.  Brown said the original definition of courage was to "tell the story of who you are with your whole heart."  

See the problem with these connections (that we make in our vulnerable moments) is that often times we forget what connection is most important, the connection with our self.  Brown got me excited for the months ahead.  I get to connect back to myself. I get the chance to be vulnerable, to take risks.  I get to stop perfecting things, and just live. 

I can't wait.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs 

without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

A Dandelion

I should be thrilled to have a short to do list for once, but its as if I try to fight my NEED to listen to God.  As I sit and stare off into space wondering where I am even supposed to begin on my thoughts, my eyes come across a dandelion and I remember a story from my professor in South Africa.  The image he shared with us was a simple reminder of how the dandelion, in a seed head state, has multiple tiny little seeds waiting to blow off in the wind.  When these tiny seeds fly off and spread they are releasing themselves to a world of possibilities for new growth.  As a seed on the head of a Meredith College dandelion I flew away in May and ended up here in DC.  Although i've landed here for now my mind seems to still be floating in the air, waiting to plant itself.
Dandelions spread far and are said to grow in more adverse circumstances than most of their competitors.  It takes time for a seed to bud into a flower, and you can't rush its growth.  The more you try to kill dandelions though, the more they will grow.  That is right of the Meredith women I know too.  We end up all over the world and wherever we end up, we are there to make an impact.  I think we all are really here to make an impact of some sort though aren't we?!
I'm excited to see the impact I can make, whether it's in the next week or in the next 5 years.  Let's start with a short term plan: 1)do what I can with what I have, where I am. What will keep me motivated?  Knowing if I can change the life of one person i've made a difference.  A spark is all it takes to set a fire, and have I mentioned...

 I AM BLESSED.

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength." (Isaiah 40:30-31, NIV)

Staying Motivated

After leaving the Millennials Civic Engagement Summit almost a month ago I couldn't stop my brain from moving.  The ideas flooded my mind for days, and unlike many conferences I attended growing up and through college, the ideas and motivation aren't going away.  This brings up both a sense of urgency and a sense of excitement.  As I discuss my hopes for the future, I attempt to create short and long term goals.  The uncertainty of the last 4 months, and of the next 60 years is thrilling and terrifying at the same time.  All the possibilities overwhelm me yet keep me excited.  I tried to condense some of the information I took away from the summit.  I created questions, ideas, and reminders for myself so that next steps could be made!

Questions

1. how can we engage those not at the conference?

2. what outlet is there for those "un heard"

3. how can students at MC take advantage of trainings, etc?
4. is there a new american dream? And what is it?

5. what are sustainable solutions for the problems millennials have identified?

• "create, don’t just curate" -Dr. Alexis Carreiro

• We (Millennials) are innovative and ready to get all we can from our work opportunities
• Stop. Collaborate. Listen. (This came from an entire conversation I had with one of my tables and I can't wait to see where it leads) 
• BE BRAVE. TAKE RISKS. ASSESS FAILURES.

Whats next?  Who knows...

I know that I am ready to make a change in the life of someone.  Who?  Maybe its children.  Where are those children?  Maybe they are in South Africa.  Maybe they are in DC.  How will I do it?  I'll start by being an ambassador for the work Pier1 (where I am now a Sales Leader) does for UNICEF every Christmas season and throughout the year.  

And in this time, where I search for meaning in what I am on this earth for I remember...

I may not be where I think I should be, but I am where God knows I SHOULD BE.

This universe is neither for or about me and I am here to be a SERVANT.  How am I supposed to believe I am where I am supposed to be or that there is a greater plan for my life if i'm ignoring God's call, and not talking to him.  

"In Him we live and move and have our being," (Acts 17:28NIV).

This New Place

Pictures of the people that molded me into who I am surround me and the memories made with them begin to reform in my mind as I sit in a quiet empty house wondering why I decided to move into yet another world of unknowns.  Then I take another look around and realize that this world of unknowns is just waiting to become another home to me, just like Meredith College became home, or Sansepolcro, or Stellenbosch.  My most recent memories took place at these places I started at alone and curious. 

Now I find myself in this new place knowing and still discovering exactly what it is that has me here.  I knew coming to DC that there was a lot of opportunity to learn about housing issues and the community development.  This city is drowning in 20 something year olds who I feel are all here for a cause that they are passionate about, and their anxious to see what DC can offer them.  In an interview I recently watched, Lara Galinsky,VP of Echoing Green (a group I hope to learn more about at an upcoming Millenials conference), said that over 65% of Millenials want to make a difference in the world and over half of us will take a pay cut to do it.  Although it may be easier to simply apply for jobs in only interior design, I don’t want to find one that “will do for now” and then never leave.  This is why I am taking chances to step outside of the box, with the hope that I can learn more from a new and different kind of workplace.  This is also why I must continue asking myself “what moves me?” and “how can the passions in my heart align with the knowledge I have and want to gain?”

As I wait, I am hopeful that my time can be used in a productive manner.  This includes preparing and training for a half marathon that is now 84 days away.  I’ve found keeping my body in motion keeps my head clear enough to create new ideas too.  The rest of my time has thus far been spent visiting with friends and spending more money than I have, so the next week will hopefully be a “stay-cation.”  Goals are reading as much as possible, finding some new favorite recipes, and applying for a few more jobs!

The reading has already begun, and although I am only through chapter 4 of Paul Polak’s Out of Poverty, I am motivated!  The fourth chapter rocked my world within the first page.  There Polak laid out words that would help me remember why I feel like I have steered from post college plans that may have been expected of me.  He said that 90% of the world’s designers spend their time finding solutions to the problems of the richest 10%.  I want to design for those who need it in order to have a place to live.  I want to be capable of creating logical and efficient solutions for the other 90%.  I guess that means I can still be the designer I imagined myself being back in middle school.  Part of the benefit of realizing what role I want in the change I hope is coming to our world is that I can do my role well but find others whose role is necessary in my ideas.

So what moves me?  What do I want to work for and see change about the world around me?  How am I going to start?  I think my work has started, but it continues every day, so let me get back to you on a few of those!  

Cheers from our nations capital and my new home.

Always Up To Something

I'm at a point in my life/career/20s that I feel should be a bit more reflective.  I've finished school, but am not totally tied down by a husband or children.  I am at an exciting point, and I feel like almost anything can happen in the next 5 years.  However, I often catch myself wondering if I really am doing ALL I can be doing.  When I get to that point I often times wonder if I am doing enough stuff, rather than if I am doing what I already have on my plate the best way I can.  It is something that I have really been thinking about a lot recently, in particular one night last week.

I came home last Wednesday, after realizing I didn't in fact have to go into work at my part-time Pier One job.  Although I spent the majority of the afternoon thinking about how tired I was and how great it would be to just have some down time, I was a bit angry when I left work after finding out I had written down the wrong date, and wasn't on the schedule.  There I was getting what I actually wanted all day long, until I went into work at Pier One.  Why did I feel like I had to make a full agenda for the night after getting home with no work?!  These are the questions I wish I could answer about myself.  

I recently read this article, realizing that while I do feel like a busy person, I also feel like much of what I choose to do is self-imposed, because I CHOSE to do certain things.  

Here is the article by Tim Kreider.  Now keep in mind I am not trying to flee from DC (just yet), although it is a quite busy city, but I am trying to consider the choices I make for my spare time everyday.  I think there is a balance between daily happy hours and time spent alone.  There can't be too much of either, at least for me.  The author of this article states it like this: "It’s hard to find anything to say about life without immersing yourself in the world, but it’s also just about impossible to figure out what it might be, or how best to say it, without getting the hell out of it again."  I agree with that in a way.  You want to live life fully so you can appreciate the time you have, as well as learn from new and different experiences.  Yet, if you don't sit still long enough to reflect on those new opportunities and experiences, what good is it to have had them?  I think I have to start taking things in better. That is what that thought boils down to for me.  Taking things in better means taking more TIME to be STILL.   Again, Kreider writes, "The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration — it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done."  I've been fighting to find this balance for a while.  We are reminded in Psalm 46:10 to "be still" and understand that God is ever present and working in our lives.  That verse is one I know I have turned to many times in my life when I find myself in these overwhelming situations.  Although I have downsized planners and don't come home with "homework," I feel a need to stay active and busy.  I move forward with the hope that there is a calm, silent space a midst life in a busy and exciting city.

Listen

For a while now I have been telling myself that I will be a better listener.  I've come to realize there is quite a difference between listening and hearing.  I have heard people really well in my life, but I am not sure I have always been the best listener.  Behind someones words are their feelings, whether it's their joy or their sadness.  Those are the things you are unable to see if you are simply hearing someone tell you something.  I was reminded of this today and thinking about listening, especially in this time of my life seems really important.  Not only because I am out of school and need direction on where to go, but because it is a perfect time for me to learn from those around me. Then again, when isn't a good time to really listen to those around you?  It helps you be a better friend, co-worker, sister, daughter, girlfriend, and most importantly a better follower of Christ.  Really listening to God isn't so easy, but it is most important when every part of you is hurting or ready to burst with excitement.  It seems you must first go with your feelings and present them so you can be heard, and then you can take a deep breathe and maybe just LISTEN.  The dictionary definition is "pay attention," "attend closely" and "concentrate."  When we turn to scripture we can see that James mentions being "quick to listen and slow to speak" (James 1:19).  I also really liked what the devotional I read today said about listening: "Talking is sharing but listening is caring. Take a tip from creation. Ears aren't made to shut, but the mouth is. Put away your sermon, save your advice and just listen. Sometimes the best gift we can give is a listening ear."  

April 30, 2012

As I let the water fall down my face in the shower I often think about all of the things on my to do list.  These often consist of various meetings or homework assignments.  Well today was different.  I got in the shower, let out what felt like the first breathe of fresh air in over a month and began trying to work my way through what I needed to do.  All that was there was graduation, but didn't I just tell myself I wasn't ready for this?  I'm crying again for the 5th or 6th time of the day.  I am not quite sure it was possible to cry in sadness one minute and 5 minutes later be crying in joy.  Mix those two with the other 500 emotions I feel and you have one delirious, confused soon to be graduate.  I keep telling myself things like "it will never be the same" or asking "when will I see her again?"  I love the hundreds of new sisters I have, the little sis' I thought i'd never have, and the irreplaceable friends I have now.  I have so much to thank Meredith College for.  -

Grateful

Here I sit in preparation for another journey.  I can't believe that tomorrow I will be in Belize.  It is hard to believe how fast the past few months have gone by, and even more hard to believe that I raised all my money for this trip.  I feel SO grateful for this opportunity and privilege to go to Cahal Pech, Belize.  Our group has been working hard to raise money to give the kids at Faith Nazerence a playground, and the day has come for us to go and see the fruits of our labor (and their construction team!).  It is hard to put how blessed I feel into words at this moment because I sit awestruck that the opportunity for me to learn and travel has again been offered.  I look forward to a trip where there will be conversation with new friends, time for devotion, and time for service and less time for replying to emails and messages.  Although I will return a little less physically rested, I hope this trip allows me to come back refreshed spiritually and emotionally as I dive into what will be the last few months of my time at Meredith.  This is time, and there is no time like the present! 


And through it all, we remember to hope:

Hope nonetheless.
Hope despite.
Hope regardless.
Hope still.

Hope where we had ceased to hope.
Hope amid what threatens hope.
Hope with those who feed our hope.
Hope beyond what we had hoped.

Hope that draws us past our limits.
Hope that defies expectations.
Hope that questions what we have known.
Hope that makes a way where there is none.

Hope that takes us past our fear.
Hope that calls us into life.
Hope that holds us beyond death.
Hope that blesses those to come.

-Jan Richardson