Big Moves

It is hard to believe another month will begin next week, especially because  I am still trying to decipher where April  went and next month is JULY!  As another group prepares to leave the palazzo I reflect on all that happened for me personally this past month.  I experienced the challenges of trying to living presently, while being forced to plan for the future.

The more time that passes since graduating in 2012, the more clear I feel my next steps should be.  Quite the opposite has been happening up to this point.  I have had MORE experiences and those have really just created new interest.  I think the fun in all of the confusion is really thinking creatively on how I can connect a love of community, urban planning, design, relationships, small business practices, and entrepreneurship.  The more exciting part all of that is what is happening for me RIGHT NOW, by being here in Italy. To start, I am spending all of this time in Italy, hoping to discover myself a bit more.  I am learning along the way, which was one of my desires for the summer.  It was a desire to learn more about what I truly care about and what God might have in store for my life beyond Italy.  I haven't been so good on the reflecting part, but even when it seems I have more time for it, I will fill the time with something else.  The answers to where life would take me upon returning home came more quickly than I could imagine!

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

So what's next?  I have the answers, and that is both something to be grateful for and eager about!  Early this month, as I tried to avoid the job search (upon finding out about my new September departure) and be more present, my boyfriend Mike was eager to connect with job prospects in his field.  One day he told me he had news to share and without thinking twice I knew that the news had to be job related.  Michael (yes, I call him both and it gets confusing) told me about the incredible job offer he had received and I immediately told him how crazy he would be if he didn’t take it.  The catch: the job offer was in Dallas, Texas.  We sat on this concept of moving to Texas for a few days, but we were certain that what was next for us was finally being in the same city.  So as hard as I was trying to live presently, all we could talk about was Dallas and what could be for MYSELF in that new place.  My own job search picked back up, but this time for jobs in Dallas.  I knew that I wanted to be working with Habitat, or an organization very similar so my search started through Americorps.  This could give me the chance to earn money for graduate school and build community which I have discovered is my number one desire for every new place I go.  It didn't take long for me to learn about what Habitat for Humanity was doing in the big city of Dallas and before I knew it my cover letter and resume were submitted.  As Michael and I continued talking about Dallas, and slowly introducing the idea to our family and friends, my application process took off!  In just a week I applied, interviewed, and accepted a position with Habitat for Humanity of Greater Dallas.  I will be working as a Family Services Coordinator through Americorps National starting in September!  I am grateful for the opportunity and I knew upon receiving the offer that it was the best thing for me on my own journey. 

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do -Ephesians 2:10

This new step will take me far from home, twice as far as DC was.  The challenges ahead seems to be hazy thoughts covered by the excitement and anticipation I have for my work with Habitat.  I know that the experience is going to teach me a tremendous amount, both about the organization, but also about living in community with others (and living on very little).  North Carolina and her beautiful mountains have always held a special place in my heart.  Early this year they became even more special because that is where I met Mike.  I won't hesitate to admit that he is the reason Dallas even became an idea, but we are both eager for what the experience will mean in our own ways. It is always hard to think about leaving a place you call home, but to think of creating a home in Dallas seems like the right next step. As I sit in my home here in Sansepolcro, Italy, I remain grateful for family and friends who have ALWAYS supported me, no matter where in the world my life takes me.  One day NC may call me home again, but for now I can't wait to see God's plans for me in the Lone Star state!!

St. Francis of Assisi

St. Francis of Assisi was the son of a wealthy silk merchant, living his life as a soldier and wealthy young man, until he had a vision.  He lost taste for worldly things and was moved to live in poverty.  Choosing to live a life with little to no worldly goods is hard to imagine.  We walk around saying we don't need these things but a frequent trip to LOFT is what sometimes kept me sane on sad lonely days in DC.  Material possessions (and the desire for them) are what kept my life insane from October to the end of the Holidays in January for the past two years (retail!).  I know we don’t live this way (a life of simplicity)-- not in the US, but not really anywhere.  It is a choice made my an individual who at some point in his or her life has an experience that is both profound and unworldly.  It is an experience that I feel can only be described by God's grace. How is it that St. Francis could live on so little by choice?!  He is evidence of God's grace working and proof that poverty has been a part of life since the 11th century. 

I am eager to learn about the life of someone who could have had what we call "The American Dream," but chose to have nothing--nothing of this world at least.  Instead he was filled with a desire to serve God and preach the good news to the people of Italy.  He created an entire community of followers who came to also believe that the "Franciscan way" of life was the way which was most related to the way Christ chose to live out his life.  As I think about how St. Francis must have trusted in God, I am astounded and ashamed.  Okay, I realize he was a saint, and God called on him in a specific and spectacular way.  My questions are: How did St. Francis find strength to life with nothing?  How did St. Francis share the word in a way that created a following of thousands.  God's love and persistence was there, no doubt. 

As I continue to live in Italy for the next two months I hope to learn more about the life and sacrifices of St. Francis of Assisi.  I also hope to carry these thoughts and observations from all that I learn into my next experience.  That is one that deserves a whole other blog post to explain.  And so I keep attempting to learn and search for new ideas everyday I am here...

The Process

When you are traveling you are on an adventure.  Even when you don’t want to admit it you are on a quest, a search for something deeper.  You may be looking for answers, or purpose, or more meaning to your life.  Perhaps you are just looking to escape.  I have felt that pressure--of what it's like to be a traveler since getting back to Italy.  Is it that I am still trying to figure out my desires for returning or because as a "traveler" I feel pressure to be on a deeper search?

 

I left college more certain of my purpose than I am as I sit here two years later.  More experiences have developed, more interests.  Instead of feeling a "calling" to one I begin to wonder if I'll just pick what sounds okay.  No, that can't be the right way though. 

I listened to a sermon yesterday and it was a reminder of that everything we do has meaning and we have to understand this thing called life is a process from "bring anointed to being appointed."  We are an instant gratification society these days, and my generation is especially eager and impatient.  This process was discussed as the point where we accept God's love leading to prayer, and our search for that purpose. 

When I get fearful of the unknown, all I am truly doing is missing today. My hope here is to accept the silence and listen to it, to soak it in.  So, be still, seek purpose, and understand the journey is often even more important than whatever the destination is.

"...And in the meantime, this side of Paradise, it is our business (not like so many peddlers of God's word, but as men and women of sincerity) to speak with our hearts (which is what sincerity means) and to bear witness to, and live out of, and live toward, and live by, the true word of his holy story as it seeks to stammer itself forth through the holy stories of us all." -Frederick Buechner

Check Yourself

I guess this is a check in with myself, because I haven't been writing like I should.  I am not happy that i've only found time to write when my head is too full NOT to.  It can't all get out when that is the only time I write.  My schedule may not be packed, but I am still observing and learning.  That is worthy of reflecting upon.

My thoughts on being present so far this month: Life is happening. Things are continuing to move and change while I'm here in Italy. Most importantly in THIS very moment, I am trying to find time to pray.  Big and exciting things have happened and big decisions are being made.   Sometimes when big and exciting things happen they're the only thing that you think about.  For me, the exciting future that could be ahead is too far off from what is now.  As of today, I have officially extended my time here, so that means I should be working harder to build community.  All this to say?  If you haven't realized my number one goal has been my biggest challenge so far in June.

Fundraising has been so much fun, but the momentum must keep up!  I still need just under $400 to make my June goal.   The biggest challenge is being creative enough to find new donors and thinking of ways to reach out to my community here in Italy.   I love fundraising but I have to connect with folks in Sansepolcro in order to have an event, or get donations. 

The Italian comes back in small spurts.  I remember a verb just when I need it most, although I am most likely not conjugating it correctly.  I did realize that trying to study 2 verbs, a few adjectives, and about 5 nouns may be a good plan for the rest of the month. 

Have to learn Italian to get folks to learn about my race and fundraising, and to build community.  Should write more so I can reflect and then continue to enjoy each present moment a bit more.  Yeah, it all goes hand-in-hand...

Continuing to work on things for HM Designs.  Created an inspiration page to add to my website for a bit of flair and individualism.  Work in progress.  Next, I want to meet and work with more artists here in Sansepolcro.

June Goals

Today, as I've done everyday I thought more about my dreams of owning a small business

This time I thought about it a bit more seriously.  What if all of the other options in my head aren't working because this option is supposed to work sooner than I thought.  Am I marketing myself enough? 

Then there is the fundraising that has kicked off, and kicked off again.  Not much movement on the donation page, but praying that things pick up here soon!  Seeking hope and solutions for getting the word out about Serious Fun Children's Network!

I've always been one for goal setting, but I figured maybe writing them down for myself and even others to see may help ensure things progress this month.  I will have to check in every week, but here goes nothing!

June goals:

1. Be present. I am in Italy, and I have to let life happen HERE for the next three months
2. Raise $600 for Serious Fun Children's Network
3. Improve my Italian, one conjugation at a time!
4. Blog daily, whether it's here or on my running blog
5. Get new clients. 1-3 would rock, and doing an event for the Fall would be perfection

I can refer back to my desires for my summer when I need to "check myself" as well. 

Happy June Everyone!