Now that I have written an entire intro to a simple blog post to lessen my writers block guilt I can move onto this new goal and this new year. Isn't it crazy we are in 2014 already!? I mean how did that happen? There is NO way I graduated almost 2 years ago from Meredith College, but enough with what was. I want to make this year awesome. That's truly my simple resolution. If I am doing all of the little things I have thought would make the year great, then I will undoubtedly have an awesome year.
I entered this past advent season in a bit of darkness about what this year could bring and as the weeks passed and I decided what I knew this year could and SHOULD be, I made my way into the light. Last year I remained in DC and continued my search for community, a vision that hasn't been painted clear but that I know will come with time. I continued to grow in my job as a manager where a lot of physical transitions were happening, but I remained with the same company. This year it is about the risks though and that means change is up ahead.
I was "home" at Meredith College for Cornhuskin this year when a mentor and friend of mine sat down with me for a quick catch up. There I was, talking about my year and how I knew the next year had to look different. She has always been good about being 1)honest 2)straight forward. I carry our conversation with me throughout this season of Epiphany because it is a realization that takes me into this next phase: "Without risk there can be no change, and without change no breakthroughs."
What breakthroughs might happen this year? Well that is the fun part. We chose the risks we take, but we have no ideas what the change will look like or what it will later help us realize. That all sounds beautiful but I also thought it beneficial to share a sliver of what a not so hopeful and impatient heart wrote just recently:
How is it 2014, a year that I insist will be full of opportunity yet I am worried that it is already here and I haven't prepared myself enough for it! I don’t have the money to move on to the next opportunity. I don't have the next opportunity to get me to the other opportunity waiting further down the road. I don't think I am using my time wisely. What could I be doing differently? I ask myself all of these questions yet they overwhelm me and then nothing happens except a stagnant young women refusing to actually listen in her stillness but if I don’t listen how can I know what opportunities are there or which ones I should take. I fill my days with work and if work cant fill my time, something less meaningful sneaks in. (January 9)
Many thanks to Jan Richardson for her beautiful words in this Epiphany blessing which I will end this (but stick around, because I have more coming soon!) post with:
For Those Who Have Far to Travel
An Epiphany Blessing
If you
could see
the
journey whole
you
might never
undertake
it;
might
never dare
the first
step
that
propels you
from
the place
you
have known
toward
the place
you
know not.
Call it
one of
the mercies
of the
road:
that we
see it
only by
stages
as it
opens
before
us,
as it
comes into
our
keeping
step by
single
step.
There
is nothing
for it
but to
go
and by
our going
take
the vows
the
pilgrim takes:
to be
faithful to
the
next step;
to rely
on more
than
the map;
to heed
the signposts
of
intuition and dream;
to
follow the star
that
only you
will
recognize;
to keep
an open eye
for the
wonders that
attend
the path;
to
press on
beyond
distractions
beyond
fatigue
beyond
what would
tempt
you
from
the way.
There
are vows
that
only you
will
know;
the
secret promises
for
your particular path
and the
new ones
you
will need to make
when
the road
is
revealed
by
turns
you
could not
have
foreseen.
Keep
them, break them,
make
them again:
each
promise becomes
part of
the path;
each
choice creates
the
road
that
will take you
to the
place
where
at last
you
will kneel
to
offer the gift
most needed—
the
gift that only you
can give—
before
turning to go
home by
another
way.
