"What NOW?"

The sun hits my face and dries my tears as I watch Sansepolcro become further away.  Fast forward two weeks later and now I'm crying on the only piece of furniture I can claim as my own in a brand new city.  Transitions can happen FAST and taking the time to process them is challenging because life continues to move and HAPPEN. Making the new, the new NORM needs time.  Those were reminders all September long...

Now is a new month and there is still self doubt of decisions made (and in the making) and questions of what comes next even though there is still so much new.  Settling for what SEEMED like enough for a while wasn’t okay any longer early on this year.  Now I have willingly set myself up in a situation both challenging and  even sometimes lonely. I chose THIS.  So therefore there is reason my creator put me in this situation, doing what I am doing… right?

The transition to something new has looked different this time because I almost needed to take myself back to where I was in Italy, in a way that would remind me it all actually happened.  For me that has been reading "A Traveller in Italy" by H.V. Morton.  He goes on for pages about the smallest details of the most unexpected places, and that is part of the beauty I found myself while in Italy this summer.  I also found beauty in transformations, in myself, in students that chose to study abroad, and in what it all meant to me at the end of the experience.

I knew if I didn't take the time right now to process things a bit, I wouldn't have the chance for a long time.  That is because this week Dallas Area Habitat is helping build 30 new hopes in East Oak Cliff and refurbishing another 20.  We have our work cut out for us, but we are lucky to be a part of some great work!  I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is last week in Dallas without Mike too.  Saturday and Sunday afternoon football would be a bit more fun to watch with him here after all.  It'll be "the next big thing" for our relationship.  The other thing missing for me right now is a second job, and that is the last piece of the chaos that is HOPEFULLY ahead.  I am anxious for it all but I've tried to make time that is more still, a time to do just that-- be more still.  You see if someone asked me would I rather sit around on a Saturday at home or be out for various errands, meet-ups, or opportunities all day I would chose the later.  However, the extrovert in me has turned back into my own shell for a little bit of stillness every now and then, and I've allowed myself to be okay with that.

So here I am ready for whatever this next year, or three, or five, has to bring.  The challenge in the time ahead is to listen to my heart and pray for direction and vocation.  What is it that I have been put here to do?  I understand that those in my generation have more jobs before we are 30 than our parents generation have ever had, but there is something that seems oh so gratifying about working really hard for that one (or maybe it’s a few) thing that you want to be a part of--that mission, that movement, and your calling.

So what do I EXPECT (and hope) this next chapter to be?  I hope that I can learn about living a little more simply, giving a little more generously (even if its giving of my time) and listening to myself and others a bit more intentionally.   I recently read a speech MLK gave to a group of students about life's blueprint.  We should each think about what our blueprint is so we can build a life that we will look back and be proud of.  MLK reminded students that they should remember their worth, set out to do life well, and step into the doors that are opened for each of them. He simply suggested that we work hard and that the people we become should be the best version of ourselves, whatever that may look that.  So in this, my favorite month of October, cheers to loving and listening well, and as I did in August, continuing to have some fun. 

**Title quote by my dear friend Liz Yaros.